You're Greek, how can you NOT know how to cook?

I'm Greek. I am 33 years old (significant because Jesus died at this age). I'm not married (yes, Jesus lived and died for our sins in all the time I have taken to not get married). I can't cook (apparently this is why I am not married).

According to Greek people, life is food, family and religion. And I'm not particularly good at any of the three! I have a good Greek mama whose life's mission is to feed her family, and feed us she does. When you are being fed like a queen where is the motivation to cook for yourself? When I moved out of home (unmarried, oh the shame!), I somehow only dated boys who knew how to cook. I have never had to cook. I have never had the desire to cook.

So why the sudden interest in being domesticated? I was visiting a friend recently and he decided to whip up some dinner. I didn't intend on staying for dinner but agreed to hang around and keep him company while he was cooking. Big  mistake!! He started talking, about the food, he was giving me a step by step commentary of what he was doing, .."and now we throw in a splash of white wine for flavour"... kill me now!!! At the time I was super irritated... I don't know how to cook, I don't want to know how to cook, I most certainly don't want a cooking channel worthy lesson!! But he did make it look effortless. And he had a really big and shiny gas stove/oven.

The stove, we're looking at the stove!

Maybe if I had a big shiny stove I would cook? If I had a big shiny stove I would definitely cook! I need to buy a big shiny stove!

The voice of reason spoke and I decided to buy a roasting pan instead (the saleslady at Le Creuset said you just put the food in the pan and voila! Sounds easy enough). If in a couple of months I am  cooking up a storm and truly becoming a domestic goddess then I will invest in a big shiny stove, OR I will have a Marrying Myself party and you can all pitch in and buy me a whole new kitchen. Yes.