So my first attempt at bread failed horribly. Funny that,
the recipe seemed super easy and foolproof (who you calling a fool??). I
cheated on my recipe books because when in doubt – google is your friend.
South Africa - 2, Greece - 1
Ingredients:
This may not be news to some of you but we actually have 7g packets of yeast in this country! I was convinced that was a luxury reserved for first world countries
I also found Bake & cooking paper. You no longer need to use oil or butter, just pop a piece of paper under the food and hey presto. Even for eggs! Amazing!
...except it kept tearing every time I tried to put it in the bread tin, aaargh! *throws it in the cupboard and makes a note to find a gingerbread man recipe*
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| I even bought measuring spoons. Such a pro! |
Okay so technically this is a four seed bread, not a five seed one. Potato potatoe.
Toast the seeds in a dry pan for 3-4 minutes:
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| Instagram worthy?? Nah |
A note about toasting seeds: poppy seeds live up to their name! Those things start popping after 3 mins!
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| Child labour. It's free! |
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Once the seeds are toasted and mixed with the dry ingredients they give off a lovely smell. This bread is starting to come together! Yay!
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| Still no Instagram heart :-( |
Suddenly I remembered something we were taught in Home Economics at
school! When mixing liquid into dry ingredients, make a 'hole' in the
middle, then pour the liquid in and stir. This makes the dry ingredients fall into the liquid evenly each time you stir
Look at that! I actually learnt something from the old bag Home Economics teacher who said ridiculous things like if we didn't know how to cook we would never find husbands! Ha! Oh, wait.
'...lightly mix until you have a soft and somewhat sloppy dough'
Ya this looks right!
Grease the pan
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| She WANTED to help, I swear! |
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| 9 year olds don't understand the concept of 'that's ENOUGH butter!' | |
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'...divide the alarmingly loose dough between the two tins...' well I wouldn't exactly call it 'alarmingly loose', that stuff was stickier than a stick (You know that joke right? What's brown and sticky?...A stick!)
Yeah it looks like there isn't enough dough in each tin but the last recipe (without yeast) said the bread wouldn't rise and it nearly overflowed! This recipe has yeast in it and says you must leave the dough to rise for an hour, it should rise to double the size, so these tins are definitely the right size, don't worry.
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| What is that? A loaf of bread for ants?? (have you seen Zoolander?) |
Errrrm. On the left is yesterday's 'no rise' bread, and on the right is today's 'rising' bread. Errrrm. That is the shortest loaf of bread in history! Please note the poison bread from yesterday is untouched, not fit for
human consumption, it is just in the pic for show, it's off to the
hazardous waste pile next!
This is what the bread is SUPPOSED to look like ---->
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| Kids, don't believe everything you see on the internet |
While not an aesthetic success, today's recipe definitely tasted much better, it's quite good actually. The crust is rock hard though, cutting it with a knife is nearly impossible, here have a chunk of bread. I left it in the oven for over an hour, this recipe lied too because at 35 minutes it was still very doughy and nowhere near ready. But at least it was edible.
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| Okay Little Red Hen, eat the bread |
So what went wrong? Maybe my bread tins are bigger than the recipe lady's tins. Why don't these things have measurements on them?? Or MAYBE it was my interfering Greek mother who halfway through the rising time just had to get involved!! I walked into the kitchen and saw she had put the tins in the oven and switched it on, her excuse was that bread dough needs to be in a warm place to rise, she was just 'warming' it. YOU ARE BAKING IT WOMAN!! GAAAAH!!!!
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