Size does matter

How soon is soon?? Can't it open today??

 The Le Creuset store in Hyde Park is expanding - they will be taking over the store next door and extending their current store all the way across. We are getting a bigger, better Le Creuset!

 Bigger is better!

 Too much of excitement! Here's hoping they will have a big sale to celebrate the revamp.

Chicken winging it

What to do with a leftover roast chicken?

Okay, HALF a chicken, leftovers rarely make it past lunchtime in a Greek house.

Leftover roast chicken recipe suggestions? Hello NoMU recipe box!

I don't have all these ingredients so we're gonna wing it! Starting with half a chicken not a whole one

Let's double up on the mushrooms to compensate for the chicken

Portobello/portobellini... potato/potatoe right?

1 baby leek or shallot (ya I have no clue what a shallot is either!), why would I buy a packet of leeks and only use 1? What will I do with the rest? No. I'm sure a normal onion will be fine. Winging it!

Yeah I'm still butchering onions, someone teach me!

No I don't know how to chop mushrooms either *sigh* visual nightmare

1 tsp NoMU One for All Grinder.....huh? Well it's too late to look for that now! What on earth could it be? The name is not very descriptive! .........Ah hah!......I know!

Winging it!

Okay maybe that's more than 1 teaspoon, oops!

Starting to look and smell deeelicious

Add sherry.... I don't have sherry....I have white wine!

Winging it

Add sherry and cook until evaporated......I was starting to think the wine was a bad idea because it just wasn't evaporating

But I kept cooking the mixture and eventually it started to look almost as if it was glazed, divine! See, wine is ALWAYS a good idea.

To make the veloute....sorry? Let's backtrack. What the flip is veloute? Nothing on this recipe card gives any indication as to what it might be. Google is my friend

 Okay so I'm making a basic gravy. Got it.


To make the veloute, prepare the chicken stock by stirring 2 tablespoons of Chicken Fond into 1 litre of water

This stuff is awesome. I'm adding all the flavours to my shopping list

 Melt 60g of butter in a saucepan and add the flour

Is there a better way than digging in the butter with a tablespoon and guessing how much it is? It's 2013, why can't we buy butter with size markings on? Now there's a million dollar idea!

I added the flour and was left with a chunky mess. I don't think veloute is supposed to look like this!But let's keep following the recipe and see what happens.

Gradually add the chicken stock. Erm. Houston.

I need to get all of what's in the bigger one into the smaller one. Note to self, switch the saucepans around next time. Hold on, I only need 750ml of the stock. Why did I make 1 litre? Let's take a cup out. A cup is 250ml right?

If you don't have a dinner set like this you're not Greek! Every Greek household has them

*checks the recipe* HA! See I'm not losing my mind. I made a litre because the recipe told me to. The ingredient list says 750ml but the instruction side says 1 litre. NoMU, fail!!

This veloute is supposed to be thick and velvety, mine is a bit clumpy. There is obviously a technique to this. Hey NoMU, a little bit more detail would be appreciated, or maybe a beginners box option.

Added in the chicken and hooooray I finally get to use my flan dish! It's been sitting in it's packet for over a month, oh the shame!

Eish that's a tight fit. If I had a whole chicken this mixture would be overflowing. It's a tad runny for my
 liking and I was tempted to add flour or maizena or something just to make it less watery, but I decided against it, maybe that is just how veloute is supposed to be?

Gently roll out the puff pastry...

 Defrost. FUUUUUCCCCKK! Every time!! Screw it, I don't have time to wait for it to defrost.

Yes my hairdryer is pink, yes I am using my hairdryer to defrost puff pastry. Laugh all you want, I once used my hairdryer to warm up my food (necessity breeds creativity and all that).

It's working!

A couple of minutes later and voila!

Gently roll out the puff pastry

That's a greek rolling pin/ child beater (we see your wooden spoon and raise you an ass whipper). Over a metre long. My mother guilt tripped me into carrying one from Greece all the way to South Africa, via a long transit in Dubai. Carrying, in my hands. What about airport security? My mother is scarier!!

Where's my dish? Let's trim that down

Ready to bake!

Apparently I don't know how to seal edges. This stuff was literally pouring out, the bottom of the oven was a hot veloute mess. I couldn't take it out yet because the middle of the puff pastry was still very much not cooked, yuck.

Pie hole. If there is a better way to test rawness let me know

Aaaand done. Not a picture perfect pie. I need to find a puff-pastry-for-retards recipe.

Still too runny, but after it had cooled down the consistency was perfect, I was worrying for nothing!

Dinner is served. This is a Greek house, we don't wait for food to cool down. It was divine!! All the recipe modifications worked really well, where are those blank recipe cards? Stavvie's Chicken Pie!

Look at that, little ol' me made a chicken pie, and I have the cooking stripes to prove it!

Always on my left hand. Hurt like a motherfluffer!! But I admit I feel kinda cool when someone asks what happened and I can say 'oh it's nothing, I was just baking the most delicious chicken pie you've ever tasted'. It feels like a rite of passage. Yay me!

Dressing the part

Sometimes I really do get gifts from other people, not just from-me-to-me gifts. Although I do make more effort with the gift wrapping when I give myself gifts, just saying!

For me? What is it!!

Yay! I needed an apron! Thank you mommy!

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had seen that apron at Le Creuset and decided I didn't like it. It just doesn't fit right. It's not a flattering style, I look like a fridge when I'm wearing it, no shape at all. I love the colour though! I had chosen another apron, it wasn't as fabulous but with a bit of sparkles and pink fabric dye I could make it super fabulous. And when I put it on it looked good, very coca-cola bottle, all boobs and hips. If I'm gonna wear an apron I'm damn well gonna look hot wearing it! Domestic Goddess, not Domestic Frump. The store didn't have stock of the apron I wanted so they placed an order for it, but unfortunately my mom bought the other apron before it arrived. I will still buy the one I wanted and bling it up. Note to ungrateful self, wear mom's apron when she's around.

This doll has no hips or boobs, trust me, real life = coca cola bottle

Imagine the white part painted pink and lot of pink gems all over, it would be fab!

Hmmm, so that's a spatula pocket? You sure it's not a cellphone pocket?

Well I can't possibly use it as a spatula pocket. Remember that advert where the big boobed girl is complaining to the waitress "where's my chips?". Ya. Boobs. Not a spatula pocket.

Le Creuset + NOMU = love

I want it all! My mother is right, I need a husband!

A couple of days before Valentines day I walked passed the Le Creuset store in Hyde Park and saw their fabulous display! Fine, that's a lie, I am subscribed to their newsletter and knew they had a special on their heart pinch bowls so that's why I went to the store... spoilsport!

I was all excited about getting the heart shaped bowls, I love Valentines day, I love the kitschiness of it, I love the foolishness of it. I love it so much that I switched between heart and red shoes and various earrings throughout the day, and I joyfully shouted Haaaappy Vaaaaalentines day to anyone who so much as glanced in my direction. I do that every year. How can you not love the day of love??

Of course when a 33 year old single Greek girl mentions love, in whatever context, everyone assumes her mother's prayers have been answered and a husband has come to save her from her miserable existence. So naturally I play the part. All day long I post pics of hearts and love quotes. People assume I'm in love.
Then I post rude, tasteless pics.

And just to be sure I cover all my bases and ruffle everyone's feathers I post pics of homosexuals. Am I in love or am I lesbian? People aren't sure.

Then I post stalkery pics. Now people are worried I might be referring to them.

Then to throw everyone off I post i-hate-valentines-day pics

People assume I drank my single sorrows away. Then at the end of the night I post a pic of a boy's shirt

The people shake their heads and think I need a husband to save me from my unruly ways, but then they ask 'who will have her'?? I have successfully caused a stir in the community. Mission accomplished! I love valentines day!! Disclaimer: Facebook is not an accurate representation of my life People!!

So there is no potential husband this valentines day but why should that mean I don't get presents?? Cue the Le Creuset valentines display. I was set on buying the heart shaped pinch bowls, but wow was I disappointed when I saw them in real life. They are tiny! They literally hold only a pinch of something. Yes I realise the name 'pinch bowl' is the most descriptive term possible for a pinch bowl, but still, I somehow had a bigger picture of them in my mind.

Trust me they are tiny. Why do they look so big now in the pic??

Not a problem, there are lots of present options in this store, I am not going home empty handed!

Me: "Please can you wrap this, it's a valentines gift"

Of course it had to be gift wrapped! It's a GIFT! You think it's annoying that I made the saleslady wrap a present from me to me? You would have died at the over-the-top fake surprised show I put on when I opened it. I took it to work and loudly announced I was going to open my valentines day gift.

"I woke up and found this on my bed this morning!!"

 "Oh my god a valentines day present!!"

 I opened it in agonisingly slow motion, refusing to rip the paper

"I wonder what it is??"

"OH MY GOD! A NOMU RECIPE BOX!!! This is exactly what I wanted!!"

Shows over people. The looks on their faces! People think I'm nuts. Yes, they knew I was opening a present from me to me. Fine, maybe a teensy bit nuts.

Why did I choose this recipe box? It has 48 recipes, nice normal simple recipes, no fancy foreign ingredients, seems perfect for a beginner like me. I also really liked the blank cards that let you fill in your own recipes. The recipe box is new and can be found at Le Creuset stores and on yuppiechef.co.za. When I say new I don't mean not second-hand, I mean it's a new concept, started in January 2013. You will be able to buy a booster pack each month - it will contain 8 recipes and blank cards.

The box has separate sections for starters, mains, sides, desserts, treats and basics.

I may not be the most smartest kitchen person but I am sure these recipes aren't in order, is chicken pie a starter? Isn't it a main?

Okay so we can't agree on the chicken pie, but lentils are definitely not a dessert! These recipes are not in order. It's quite annoying having to sort the cards out, when I buy something I assume it is presented in the way it is intended to be used. But sorting the cards out did give me a chance to go through all the recipes, looking forward to trying them out.

I also don't think the dividers are in order. Surely Basics should be first, not last? And what is the difference between Desserts and Treats? Aren't they the same thing? I arranged my cards so that big stuff (like a cake) is considered a dessert, and small stuff (like cupcakes) is considered a treat. Seriously, what's the difference NOMU?

Enough moaning, mouth of the gift horse and all that. I do love the layout of the cards, and the pictures are beautiful.

Blank recipe cards. Genius

Starters

Mains

Sides

Desserts

Treats

Basics

Hope you all had a happy valentines day (yes I realise this post is way after the actual day, love yourselves every day!) And remember, single is the new black!