Dressing the part

Sometimes I really do get gifts from other people, not just from-me-to-me gifts. Although I do make more effort with the gift wrapping when I give myself gifts, just saying!

For me? What is it!!

Yay! I needed an apron! Thank you mommy!

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had seen that apron at Le Creuset and decided I didn't like it. It just doesn't fit right. It's not a flattering style, I look like a fridge when I'm wearing it, no shape at all. I love the colour though! I had chosen another apron, it wasn't as fabulous but with a bit of sparkles and pink fabric dye I could make it super fabulous. And when I put it on it looked good, very coca-cola bottle, all boobs and hips. If I'm gonna wear an apron I'm damn well gonna look hot wearing it! Domestic Goddess, not Domestic Frump. The store didn't have stock of the apron I wanted so they placed an order for it, but unfortunately my mom bought the other apron before it arrived. I will still buy the one I wanted and bling it up. Note to ungrateful self, wear mom's apron when she's around.

This doll has no hips or boobs, trust me, real life = coca cola bottle

Imagine the white part painted pink and lot of pink gems all over, it would be fab!

Hmmm, so that's a spatula pocket? You sure it's not a cellphone pocket?

Well I can't possibly use it as a spatula pocket. Remember that advert where the big boobed girl is complaining to the waitress "where's my chips?". Ya. Boobs. Not a spatula pocket.

Le Creuset + NOMU = love

I want it all! My mother is right, I need a husband!

A couple of days before Valentines day I walked passed the Le Creuset store in Hyde Park and saw their fabulous display! Fine, that's a lie, I am subscribed to their newsletter and knew they had a special on their heart pinch bowls so that's why I went to the store... spoilsport!

I was all excited about getting the heart shaped bowls, I love Valentines day, I love the kitschiness of it, I love the foolishness of it. I love it so much that I switched between heart and red shoes and various earrings throughout the day, and I joyfully shouted Haaaappy Vaaaaalentines day to anyone who so much as glanced in my direction. I do that every year. How can you not love the day of love??

Of course when a 33 year old single Greek girl mentions love, in whatever context, everyone assumes her mother's prayers have been answered and a husband has come to save her from her miserable existence. So naturally I play the part. All day long I post pics of hearts and love quotes. People assume I'm in love.
Then I post rude, tasteless pics.

And just to be sure I cover all my bases and ruffle everyone's feathers I post pics of homosexuals. Am I in love or am I lesbian? People aren't sure.

Then I post stalkery pics. Now people are worried I might be referring to them.

Then to throw everyone off I post i-hate-valentines-day pics

People assume I drank my single sorrows away. Then at the end of the night I post a pic of a boy's shirt

The people shake their heads and think I need a husband to save me from my unruly ways, but then they ask 'who will have her'?? I have successfully caused a stir in the community. Mission accomplished! I love valentines day!! Disclaimer: Facebook is not an accurate representation of my life People!!

So there is no potential husband this valentines day but why should that mean I don't get presents?? Cue the Le Creuset valentines display. I was set on buying the heart shaped pinch bowls, but wow was I disappointed when I saw them in real life. They are tiny! They literally hold only a pinch of something. Yes I realise the name 'pinch bowl' is the most descriptive term possible for a pinch bowl, but still, I somehow had a bigger picture of them in my mind.

Trust me they are tiny. Why do they look so big now in the pic??

Not a problem, there are lots of present options in this store, I am not going home empty handed!

Me: "Please can you wrap this, it's a valentines gift"

Of course it had to be gift wrapped! It's a GIFT! You think it's annoying that I made the saleslady wrap a present from me to me? You would have died at the over-the-top fake surprised show I put on when I opened it. I took it to work and loudly announced I was going to open my valentines day gift.

"I woke up and found this on my bed this morning!!"

 "Oh my god a valentines day present!!"

 I opened it in agonisingly slow motion, refusing to rip the paper

"I wonder what it is??"

"OH MY GOD! A NOMU RECIPE BOX!!! This is exactly what I wanted!!"

Shows over people. The looks on their faces! People think I'm nuts. Yes, they knew I was opening a present from me to me. Fine, maybe a teensy bit nuts.

Why did I choose this recipe box? It has 48 recipes, nice normal simple recipes, no fancy foreign ingredients, seems perfect for a beginner like me. I also really liked the blank cards that let you fill in your own recipes. The recipe box is new and can be found at Le Creuset stores and on yuppiechef.co.za. When I say new I don't mean not second-hand, I mean it's a new concept, started in January 2013. You will be able to buy a booster pack each month - it will contain 8 recipes and blank cards.

The box has separate sections for starters, mains, sides, desserts, treats and basics.

I may not be the most smartest kitchen person but I am sure these recipes aren't in order, is chicken pie a starter? Isn't it a main?

Okay so we can't agree on the chicken pie, but lentils are definitely not a dessert! These recipes are not in order. It's quite annoying having to sort the cards out, when I buy something I assume it is presented in the way it is intended to be used. But sorting the cards out did give me a chance to go through all the recipes, looking forward to trying them out.

I also don't think the dividers are in order. Surely Basics should be first, not last? And what is the difference between Desserts and Treats? Aren't they the same thing? I arranged my cards so that big stuff (like a cake) is considered a dessert, and small stuff (like cupcakes) is considered a treat. Seriously, what's the difference NOMU?

Enough moaning, mouth of the gift horse and all that. I do love the layout of the cards, and the pictures are beautiful.

Blank recipe cards. Genius

Starters

Mains

Sides

Desserts

Treats

Basics

Hope you all had a happy valentines day (yes I realise this post is way after the actual day, love yourselves every day!) And remember, single is the new black!

You need to cook something greek...

The peanut gallery has told me I should be cooking greek food. Be glad I am cooking at all!! Hmmm maybe peanut butter is next on the menu! *evil grin*

Haido recently made spanakopita. Emphasis on the short O, spanakOpita, not spanakOHHHHpita, not spanakopEEEEta. Learn Greek. Spanakopita is spinach pie. Calm down carnivores, I don't like spinach either but somehow when it's in a spanakipita it's divine! Haido's recipe came from a book that her mom had bought in Athens decades ago.

I want one. I need one!! But I can't possibly wait until August to go look for one in Greece, patience is not a Greek person quality! What to do? Let's look on Ebay! *angels sing, click click, pay, wait* I love Ebay. You really can find anything on there. I hope my book is a second hand one that some old greek granny used for years. I will lie and tell people my granny gave it to me. That stays between us okay?

Shipping will take about 2 -3 weeks so until then google is my friend. I found a recipe by Nigella Lawson that looks good

She's half Greek? I didn't know that! I thought she was Italian. Best of both worlds! Then she married a kseno, Lawson, mh sas tuxei ;-)

When my mother heard I was going to make spanakopita she was thrilled. She really is expecting my future husband to jump out of his hiding place soon. Shame. She was also excited because I finally agreed to use ingredients from their garden. My parents are on this whole organic trip, me not so much, give me bug and worm free food with a side serving of toxic pesticides any day. I have a worm phobia *shudder*  (Yes worms. You think that's silly? That's what a phobia is, an IRRATIONAL fear!!). I would rather drink litres of pesticide than see a worm within 1000kms of my food. Excitement all around as my proud mother presented me with a bowl of spinach, mint and dill, straight from their garden. I was wary - "If I see ONE worm!!!" - *finger wagging, threatening eyes*

My mother claimed to have washed them already. Murphy's law, the first leaf I picked up was probably the only one she missed.

I thought she said she washed them?? Look at the dirt!

OH.
MY.
GOD.

That's not dirt. IT'S BUGS!!! *SCREECH*

 No way. Nuh uh. Forget it. I'm out. Fuck this organic bullshit.

Woolworths, sign me up for life!

Post trauma comfort food

The recipe says 750g of spinach, but Woolies sells packets of 200g, so 800g it shall be. Haido always adds more than the recipe says, and especially dill, she says dill and spinach are an excellent combination. More of everything!

Dill

Mint

The recipe also says to add spring onions. I'm sure a normal onion will be fine. Okay I'm not sure. *Haido on speeddial*. Yes, a normal onion is fine.

I need to learn how to chop onions properly. Although butchered onions taste the same. But still.

Microwave or steam spinach until it's limp (~3 minutes per bag). Allow to drain in a colander and when cooled press out as much water as possible. Chop the spinach and put into a large mixing bowl.  

I don't have a bowl big enough to fit all the spinach in at one time, and I haven't learnt how to adjust times for bigger quantities of food. I vaguely recollect that two bags won't mean 6 minutes. So I painstakingly microwaved one bag at a time.

Press out as much water as possible -  this was tricky, I pressed and pressed but water kept coming out. Is it actually even possible to press all the water out? I can't press anymore!

Spinach ball anyone?

I thought microwaving each bag was a mission. Squeezing the spinach bit by bit took ages. Now I know how much 800g really is! Am I doing the squeezing thing the caveman way? Is there a much simpler way?

Chop the spinach -  this implies that the spinach is choppable. I ended up with a bowl of squished mushy spinach balls. Not choppable. Kind of sliced/ torn/ pulled apart, yes, chopped, no. Maybe I need real knives.

Forget what the recipe says, you can NEVER have too much feta

Feta pie with a splash of spinach

Crack the eggs into the mixture - Barefoot Contessa taught me to use a little glass bowl for eggs. Crack them into the bowl first to prevent having to pick any shells out of your mixture. So smart.

Mixture is ready (it took a lot longer than I expected, I need to find a better way of pressing the water out of the spinach), time for the phyllo pastry. I should have read the fineprint BEFORE I even started thinking about making spanakopita.

Defrost for at least EIGHT hours?? FFS. *Haido on speeddial* Okay apparently if I take it out the freezer it will be fine to use it after 45 minutes. Yay we don't have to wait until tomorrow to eat spanakopita!

* Twenty minutes later*

Patience is not a Greek person quality. I'm sure it will be fine.

Cracks galore. I should have waited!!

 Layer half the packet of filo pastry in the pan, brushing each layer lightly with olive oil

This little glass bowl is coming in real handy! Yes pink

My embarrassing first layer. Barefoot Contessa teach me!!

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

Roll up the edges tightly and brush the top lightly with olive oil

No hunny, there will be no rolling with these nails. It's physically impossible. And yes, the nail technician did ask me if my friends tell me I look like a whore with such long nails... shut up and do your job woman!

That's how I roll

Aaand done! Looked much better in real life, damn you Blackberry!

The phyllo pastry was crisped to perfection right down to the bottom layer. I'm convinced it's because I used my Le Creuset tin <3

The spanakopita was a success! Absolutely delicious. High five Nigella! I need to get some of her books for sure.

Then I read the fine print.

 Erm. So my recipe from nigella.com isn't a Nigella recipe? *gasp* Do you mean she isn't Greek either?? *spits out the spanakopita*

That last bit was a lie. I would never waste food!

duffs10, you Greek minx, whoever you are, your recipe is a hit!