ebay Goddess

I know. It's been a while. I've been busy. Forgive me. Friends again? Yay.

Remember Haido’s recipe book I was drooling over?

Mine arrived! Brand new and in excellent condition. I was hoping to get a well used second hand copy, you know, one that has character and a story to tell. I’m just going to have to break mine in. Challenge accepted.

I’m a little disappointed in the new cover, I prefer the glorious sea view. 

 I suppose from a marketing perspective it makes a lot more sense to put food on a recipe book cover. If you want sea views buy a touristy book Stavvie!

I was a bit concerned that it might not be the same book, but a quick look inside reassured me

 I double checked the spanakopita recipe juuuust to make sure…

....we’re in business!

I flipped through the book and yup, this is definitely a Greek book

"Add one fresh chicken"

 Heard of Greeklish? Yeah this book has it!

"7 glasses of wine must already prepared" Dying laughing! Must already BE prepared...even then it doesn't really make sense. How do you 'prepare' wine anyway? Haha oh the Greeks always trying to cut corners, a translator is not where you should be trying to save money!

........

*facepalm*

Turns out I'm the retard not the translator of the book. Wine must is actually a thing! Google is my friend.

I also ordered another recipe book off of ebay. The area in Greece that my parents are from is called Epirus. No, it’s not an island with white sandy beaches and crystal clear sea. It’s deep in a mountain range. An hour’s drive either way to the nearest town. Deep in the mountains. Who knew Greece had mountains right?? I got swapped at birth, I definitely am an island person, none of this naturey mountain crap for me thanks. Cabana boys and cocktails, yes please! Anyhoo, I found a recipe book with traditional recipes from Epirus...

...but wait that’s not all, it comes with a cd of traditional music from Epirus. Cook and dance at the same time? Everybody wishes they could be Greek!

 *disappointed face* It’s not so much a recipe book as it is a pamphlet….oh well I got it super cheap with free shipping, I win either way.

Erm, I have only heard of about 3 of those recipes. My mother never cooked these foods. My mother is an imposter!! She's not from Epirus, is she? Is she even Greek? Dun dun duuuun.
 

The cd? I haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet. As soon as my mother spotted it she claimed it as her own.

Hey I actually know some of those songs! Apparently music was more important than food in my upbringing.

Watch this space for some real Greek cooking. Well, attempts at it.


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Size does matter

How soon is soon?? Can't it open today??

 The Le Creuset store in Hyde Park is expanding - they will be taking over the store next door and extending their current store all the way across. We are getting a bigger, better Le Creuset!

 Bigger is better!

 Too much of excitement! Here's hoping they will have a big sale to celebrate the revamp.

Chicken winging it

What to do with a leftover roast chicken?

Okay, HALF a chicken, leftovers rarely make it past lunchtime in a Greek house.

Leftover roast chicken recipe suggestions? Hello NoMU recipe box!

I don't have all these ingredients so we're gonna wing it! Starting with half a chicken not a whole one

Let's double up on the mushrooms to compensate for the chicken

Portobello/portobellini... potato/potatoe right?

1 baby leek or shallot (ya I have no clue what a shallot is either!), why would I buy a packet of leeks and only use 1? What will I do with the rest? No. I'm sure a normal onion will be fine. Winging it!

Yeah I'm still butchering onions, someone teach me!

No I don't know how to chop mushrooms either *sigh* visual nightmare

1 tsp NoMU One for All Grinder.....huh? Well it's too late to look for that now! What on earth could it be? The name is not very descriptive! .........Ah hah!......I know!

Winging it!

Okay maybe that's more than 1 teaspoon, oops!

Starting to look and smell deeelicious

Add sherry.... I don't have sherry....I have white wine!

Winging it

Add sherry and cook until evaporated......I was starting to think the wine was a bad idea because it just wasn't evaporating

But I kept cooking the mixture and eventually it started to look almost as if it was glazed, divine! See, wine is ALWAYS a good idea.

To make the veloute....sorry? Let's backtrack. What the flip is veloute? Nothing on this recipe card gives any indication as to what it might be. Google is my friend

 Okay so I'm making a basic gravy. Got it.


To make the veloute, prepare the chicken stock by stirring 2 tablespoons of Chicken Fond into 1 litre of water

This stuff is awesome. I'm adding all the flavours to my shopping list

 Melt 60g of butter in a saucepan and add the flour

Is there a better way than digging in the butter with a tablespoon and guessing how much it is? It's 2013, why can't we buy butter with size markings on? Now there's a million dollar idea!

I added the flour and was left with a chunky mess. I don't think veloute is supposed to look like this!But let's keep following the recipe and see what happens.

Gradually add the chicken stock. Erm. Houston.

I need to get all of what's in the bigger one into the smaller one. Note to self, switch the saucepans around next time. Hold on, I only need 750ml of the stock. Why did I make 1 litre? Let's take a cup out. A cup is 250ml right?

If you don't have a dinner set like this you're not Greek! Every Greek household has them

*checks the recipe* HA! See I'm not losing my mind. I made a litre because the recipe told me to. The ingredient list says 750ml but the instruction side says 1 litre. NoMU, fail!!

This veloute is supposed to be thick and velvety, mine is a bit clumpy. There is obviously a technique to this. Hey NoMU, a little bit more detail would be appreciated, or maybe a beginners box option.

Added in the chicken and hooooray I finally get to use my flan dish! It's been sitting in it's packet for over a month, oh the shame!

Eish that's a tight fit. If I had a whole chicken this mixture would be overflowing. It's a tad runny for my
 liking and I was tempted to add flour or maizena or something just to make it less watery, but I decided against it, maybe that is just how veloute is supposed to be?

Gently roll out the puff pastry...

 Defrost. FUUUUUCCCCKK! Every time!! Screw it, I don't have time to wait for it to defrost.

Yes my hairdryer is pink, yes I am using my hairdryer to defrost puff pastry. Laugh all you want, I once used my hairdryer to warm up my food (necessity breeds creativity and all that).

It's working!

A couple of minutes later and voila!

Gently roll out the puff pastry

That's a greek rolling pin/ child beater (we see your wooden spoon and raise you an ass whipper). Over a metre long. My mother guilt tripped me into carrying one from Greece all the way to South Africa, via a long transit in Dubai. Carrying, in my hands. What about airport security? My mother is scarier!!

Where's my dish? Let's trim that down

Ready to bake!

Apparently I don't know how to seal edges. This stuff was literally pouring out, the bottom of the oven was a hot veloute mess. I couldn't take it out yet because the middle of the puff pastry was still very much not cooked, yuck.

Pie hole. If there is a better way to test rawness let me know

Aaaand done. Not a picture perfect pie. I need to find a puff-pastry-for-retards recipe.

Still too runny, but after it had cooled down the consistency was perfect, I was worrying for nothing!

Dinner is served. This is a Greek house, we don't wait for food to cool down. It was divine!! All the recipe modifications worked really well, where are those blank recipe cards? Stavvie's Chicken Pie!

Look at that, little ol' me made a chicken pie, and I have the cooking stripes to prove it!

Always on my left hand. Hurt like a motherfluffer!! But I admit I feel kinda cool when someone asks what happened and I can say 'oh it's nothing, I was just baking the most delicious chicken pie you've ever tasted'. It feels like a rite of passage. Yay me!

Dressing the part

Sometimes I really do get gifts from other people, not just from-me-to-me gifts. Although I do make more effort with the gift wrapping when I give myself gifts, just saying!

For me? What is it!!

Yay! I needed an apron! Thank you mommy!

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had seen that apron at Le Creuset and decided I didn't like it. It just doesn't fit right. It's not a flattering style, I look like a fridge when I'm wearing it, no shape at all. I love the colour though! I had chosen another apron, it wasn't as fabulous but with a bit of sparkles and pink fabric dye I could make it super fabulous. And when I put it on it looked good, very coca-cola bottle, all boobs and hips. If I'm gonna wear an apron I'm damn well gonna look hot wearing it! Domestic Goddess, not Domestic Frump. The store didn't have stock of the apron I wanted so they placed an order for it, but unfortunately my mom bought the other apron before it arrived. I will still buy the one I wanted and bling it up. Note to ungrateful self, wear mom's apron when she's around.

This doll has no hips or boobs, trust me, real life = coca cola bottle

Imagine the white part painted pink and lot of pink gems all over, it would be fab!

Hmmm, so that's a spatula pocket? You sure it's not a cellphone pocket?

Well I can't possibly use it as a spatula pocket. Remember that advert where the big boobed girl is complaining to the waitress "where's my chips?". Ya. Boobs. Not a spatula pocket.